We can't be alone in wanting the rain clouds to return surely?
Riding in mud is brilliant. Everyone knows that. It’s full of thrills and adrenaline and is no way an exercise in masochistic misery and bike-destroying expense.
Here are 14 reasons – count ’em – why everything will be loads better once this darned sunshine goes away.
It’s too hot
We’re British. Any temperature in double figures is “warm”. Once it gets to 20c+ it’s basically unbearable.
Tyres feel draggier
After many months of lovely slop spinning and hilarious muck sliding, hardpack trails just make your knobbles feel draggy. Ugh.
Bikes creak more
There’s something about dryness that brings out the annoying noises on your bike. Bikes much prefer to be coated in rain and filth. Nature’s lube.
There’s nothing worse than a sweaty back
Riding around with a hydration pack is a miserable experience when it’s sunny. Chafing and rubbing. Sweaty and then clammy.
Water is heavy
And when it’s hot you have to carry around loads of water. You spend all your hard earned money buying stuff to make your bike lighter and then Mr Sunshine pops out and you’re suddenly 3kg heavier.
Sunshine brings out the buzzing pests. Midges, mozzies, wasps, flies, ticks. Much rather be constantly flecked with mud than insects.
Bracken and brambles
Not to mention nettles too. Nature starts to get her revenge by ripping your forearms to shreds and stinging the beejeezus out of your shins.
Animal messages don’t get washed away
Dog mess, horse droppings, you name it. It all lingers on the trails without the rain there to wash things away. You may miss the pile on the first ride past but it’ll still be there tomorrow to catch/splat you out.
Our fashionable riding clothing makes less sense
Gimpy XC clobber makes more sense
Hot weather turns our withering gaze into jealous desire whenever we see an XC whippet fly past with a very vented helmet and skimpy lycra all over their body.
Above vid: Difficult course causes carnage in men’s Mont Sainte Anne cross country World Cup
Every man and his dog feels the need to experience Mother Nature. Where have they been all winter eh? And speaking of dogs, see the previous ‘animal messages’ reason.
Sunburn versus suncream
You can’t win. There’s either the faff and slime of having to apply sun tan lotion every five minutes or you take a gamble and end up finishing the ride looking like Bagpuss.
You’re always late back home or late into work because you don’t want to stop riding on the buff-tastic trails. Sunshine causes unemployment and divorce.
The worst part of riding in hot weather is when it ends. When you have to go back to riding in the cold and wet. Everything’s slow. Everything’s much harder. Everything sucks. Come back sun!